Carry this picture...Your smile is the most genuine thing that I've ever seen...
anjocastro
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Name: Jose Angelo
Birthday: 1/5/1989
Gender: Male


Interests: Errr. Rock Music! Movies! Art Films! Stage plays! Broadway! Songs! Musical Instruments? ;b Writing! Books! Reading!
Expertise: I never thought of me being good at anything, and I really ain't anyway. I'm good at shit not worth being good at. I suck at everything good. I rock at everything bad. ---- he may not realize it but he's good at a lot of things or maybe he knows it but he doesn't show it.. he is good at writing.. and yes, please agree with me that he is really good at writing, with his poems and blog it really shows.. ü he also told me that he likes taking pictures, so photography is one of his expertise also.. ü and he also has a good taste in paintings.. ü well, i know that there's more things that he is good at but it just can't fit here.. ü <> ü
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: jose_angelo_castro@hotmail.com
ICQ: 158604384
Yahoo: josefromthedark
Yahoo: joseangelocastro


Member Since: 3/29/2004

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Sunday, April 04, 2004

As I watched you enter his warm embrace, I couldn't help but enter my own version of hell. With all the people around me walking around, not giving a shit that suddenly all my stars went dark, my skies crashed back into the sea leaving only the dark emptiness in its place. I gaze up into the infinite beyond and see nothing, for nothing lies beyond my stare when I look up. No hope, no wishes, no stars tonight. Only black, only helplessness, only death.

Why should I have stars? I don't have wishes, or maybe they were already granted when you came into my life. Ok, that was a lie. I DO have wishes. I do wish. But I can no longer cast it into the sky. I cannot wish into some star out there. I cannot hope for it to come true. I can't live for them to come true. Do you know what my wish is?I wish that I was the guy who held you. I wish that I was the person who held you in a warm embrace. I wish that you were with me. I wish that I could be the person who'll make you happy. I wish I could be your star, granting your every wish.

I am here, and all I can do is watch. If I were in some coliseum [how do you spell it?] I don't know whether I am the audience or I am the freak parading around in the center. I am the audience, I sit here watching helplessly as the two of you end a drama shown on stage, with a happy ending. With the girl falling into his arms and into his spell. With the girl falling in love with the guy, until who knows when? Eternity perhaps. And I leave the my seat to end up wondering as I continue my journey, until what part of forever will it last? I am the person on stage. As the audience sits there, watching, as my heart gets torn apart. *sigh* Shakespeare said once that our lives are like plays wherein we are the actors and actresses and the world is our stage. Whatever may happen, the show must go on.

The show must go on. Yes, it definitely must. I will be here, sitting alone in the darkness, swallowing the saltiest of my tears, calling out into the emptiness, waiting for someone to come and extend their hand, waiting for that one person who can pull me out of such a sorry state.

As stupid as this sounds, I can't really make any fucking wish now. You don't love me anyway. So even if MY wish DOES come true, I won't be the one who STILL truly holds you heart. I will just be one of the infinite number of people you hug. I will just be one of the millions of people who pass you by each day. I will never be special. I will never mean anything to you, or if I do, I will mean little to you. I will never mean as much to you as you mean to me.

But you know what, remember this... I WILL ALWAYS BE FUCKING HERE. Even if you always belong to someone else, I WILL STILL BE HERE. And nothing you ever do can make me turn away. Like that stupid fool who stood for ninety-nine days and nights watching the princess from the balcony, even as it rained, snowed, grew and died, I will stand by you, I will fucking care for you, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I love you, and maybe, even if you don't give a shit about that fact, I won't care. As long as you exist I will love you. No questions, no reiterations, no conditions and no beginnings nor ends.

I love you ^>|^.

*sigh*



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